GO BEARS!!!!

Today's a big day - HUGE DAY.  The rivalry game to end all.  I'm hoping for a bear victory - let's go boys!!!!

When a curse turns out to be a blessing

You don't always see it right away, but sometimes, you realize that something you've considered a curse has really been a blessing.  This is going to sound ridiculous, but it hit me full force about a week ago that hubs' unemployment over the last year and a half has been a huge blessing for us.  How did I come to this random realization you ask? But of course, through a song....

Not the best screen shot for them to capture, but the song is glorious, I tear up every time I hear it, and I loved the video.  I can't say we have those lovely British accents, but hubs and I have come through a similar storyline.

Along our bumpy, one-income plus unemployment, road we have figured out how to really live within our means.  We have a much better appreciation for what we do have and we still have managed to do some really fun things by saving and being smart with our dough.  Even more important than the money though, is the fact that we really did find each other again.

We were the work all day, come home and go separate directions types before, and now we do so much more together.  We entertain our friends at our house, we've rediscovered board games, I've delved into his video game empire a time or two and he listens to me gush about the latest Twilight (though he'll come nowhere near me while I'm watching).  We actually talk to each other.  Let me repeat that, we TALK to each other.  Weird concept, huh?  And when you spend as much time as we do together, you find yourself in topics you never thought to bring up.  Heck, I've even learned some new things about the guy recently and we've been together for ten years!  I won't say I always considered this a blessing, most days I voted quickly for the curse, but things change.

Would I have chosen this for us - heck no!  Do I want him to go back to work soon - yes, please!  But, in the mean time, I can say that three years later I really do love the guy more now than I did when I married him. He's stronger than I ever imagined.

Muah Babe - you're my hero.

A little reminder

This little beauty is now gracing my cube at work...

I was perusing Etsy a few weeks ago and came across this.  I must say it sums up one of my overall goals...and if you know me, it's just plain amusing.

Happy Monday!

If I'm going to be honest

Ok, so we're about a month into my life overhaul adventure.  I didn't exactly anticipate it to be a complete overhaul, but things have certainly snowballed in a way I didn't expect.  I started this blog as really another checklist of things I wanted to be accomplishing while having someone to be accountable to, but have really found it to be giving me strength to really find the person I want to be. 

This blog, and the way it makes me look at every angle of my life, has given me a level of introspection that might border on insane.  I have evaluated my spiritual life, my marriage, my friendships, my work life and my overall sanity level.  Oddly enough, I found all of the above to be lacking in one area or another and set about to make myself over.  This is what we like to call overkill kids.

In the spirit of honesty, and this is place I've vowed honesty, I wanted to lay this out there - I know that there are hundreds of people out there who look at January 1st of each year and think, "This is the year!" and then about three weeks later they think, "orrrr maybe next year..."  I'm not giving up, no way, but I am being realistic with myself.  I cannot expect myself to give up swearing, pop, fast food and alcohol (during the week) only to add a yoga class every Wednesday, a church class every Tuesday, volunteering, major attempts at overall optimism and having a true work/life balance for the first time since I became a working adult.

So, in the spirit of enjoying my small moments of happiness, I'm drawing the line in the sand for January that says that I will maintain, but I will not be adding to, "the list."  I never actually signed up to volunteer anywhere or started a complete work-out regimen, so both of those things can be backburnered until February.  Becoming the person you want to be is a process - and though I loathe running - I do respect the fact that I cannot go run a marathon, but I can start with a 5k (which I plan to do this Spring).

Stick with me - I'm sure it's only going to get more interesting from here.

Who loves Alice?

I just read that the Des Moines Ballet is putting on Alice in Wonderland at the Civic Center in February.  It isn't a traditional ballet but I have to imagine the costumes are AMAZING and I would loooooove to see this.

Could this be another check off my list?  We'll have to see how the budget feels about ballet tickets...



EDIT: 1.12.11 Update

One of my very good friends surprised me today with tickets to Alice in Wonderland!!!! I cannot tell you how excited I am for my first ballet and I cannot thank her enough for being so supportive.  Well, I will start thanking her with multiple martinis the night of the show...

This is a journey I couldn't make without the support of my friends and family.  YEAH - I'm currently doing a happy dance around my kitchen :)

You did what?!?

(Pssst...Season Three is the one I just finished and it was soooooo good! Team Pacey all the way!)

Yes, I admit it, I watched EIGHT episodes of Dawson's Creek yesterday.  I literally did not move from my couch for many, many hours.  And, you know what? I am so proud of myself for it.

 
Part of my new "Making the most of it" lifestyle is taking time for myself without kicking myself for it later.  So, if it's yoga, a glass of wine (but only on the weekends) or seven hours of straight high-school drama - I deserve it.  And I have to say, even better than the act of sitting there like a total bum all day was remembering... 

I was in total love with that show, circa 1998 when I was in high school myself, and watching their little love-triangle, angst-filled lives just made me remember mine.  So many great memories with what had to be the best group of friends one could have asked for. It's a time in your life like none other - where you feel every emotion times ten and every decision is a "make or break" moment. 

I look at my life now and I can't find a single place that evokes that kind of emotion - but I hope that this blog and the decisions I'm making now bring it back.  We can leave the drama in my old locker, but I'll take the passion any day of the week.

If you're actually "happy" - raise your hand.

As is to be expected with the start of a new year, all of my favorite magazines and websites are talking about the resolutions we're all making and the changes we vow will actually stick this year.  As I've rolled my eyes, passing by the status quo articles, I've been somewhat shocked to see articles that focus more on being "happy."  Not the, "Lose 10 pounds to be your best self" happy, but real, true, momentary bliss. 

These articles, like this one, spoke to me on such a deep level.  They were honest about the fact that as Americans, and really just humans, we are finally realizing that happiness isn't something we can attain.  It isn't a box we can check once we've accomplished our top a, b and c goals.  Happiness is a moment in time - it is not an "if" but a "when."  It's that cliche moment where all your stars have aligned - be it missing the train that inevitably makes you late for work by only a half a block (like I didn't today), having your best friend from high school randomly hit you up on facebook/email with a memory that makes you giggle, or your significant other having dinner on the stove when you walk in from work.  These are all just moments, they are all small things that really don't add up to be one big thing, but they all bring happiness.

The real truth, the one our parents try to tell us from the beginning but we just don't get until we're here now, is that life is hard.  Life is brutal.  It will rain, it will pour, your basement window will explode randomly one night at 2am while you're out of state and your insurance won't cover a dime of it.  But, no matter how terrible the big things are, there are always things that make you happy if you allow them to.  My focus lately, as I've been trying to correct some of my own character flaws and realign how I think of things, needed this slap upside the head.  I need to be reminded every day that maybe I'm not happy every single second, but that I can absolutely be present in those little moments that bring me happiness. 

Do you take the time to enjoy those little moments or do you brush them off as "how it should be" and that you deserve more of them?

My new reality is going to be that I deserve every moment of happiness I get.  And if that makes me happy overall, then I'll take it.