Thursday, February 10, 2011

I burnt the map

That's right, I burnt it.  Lit it with a candle, threw it in the fireplace and watched it burn.

Well, not quite.  I guess what I really did was put it in a drawer and forgot it even existed.  I didn't wake up yesterday and realize that there no longer was a plan for my life.  I woke up yesterday and realized that I hadn't had a plan for a while now.

You see, I've been that girl - the girl with a plan - forever.  Anyone who's ever known me knew that I was that girl.  Not in a bad way (well...maybe), but in a way that made it clear that my life had a defined path and I was in charge of it.  And over the course of the last six months, before I even started this blog, I started to recognize that my plan was completely irrelevant.  I mean, come on, who do you actually know that has a plan that actually worked??

Life doesn't allow plans to actually work.  My plan wasn't to fall in love at 18.  My plan wasn't to realize 80% of the way through college that I had zero desire to write for anyone but myself.  And my plan sure wasn't to spend two years working off of one income while the rest of my friends went on trips and had babies.  Sure wasn't it.

So, somewhere along the way, I just stopped making plans.  My planner is pretty much empty after the last weekend in February outside of yoga class.  I have laundry sitting in the basement that I put there a week and a half ago.  I don't even wonder what I "should" be doing next week.  Planning just isn't worth it the stress of it not working out.  So, tonight I made a recipe I found at 11AM this morning.  I drank a few glasses of wine, painted my fingernails sparkly silver and watched dvr'd shows with the hubs.

And it was awesome.

P.S. I've gotten a few questions around if I think this "no plan" situation is a good one.  My answer is a resounding YES.  Letting go of all of that control is the most freeing thing you can do for yourself.  Just live for a few minutes and don't stress on what could or should be happening.  It's pretty amazing.  

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